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*The loud roar of a transport ship filters through the speakers before the static stops, settling on a familiar face. Her eyes, however, are bloodshot and puffy, her cheeks drawn, and her mouth in an unsettling frown. She sniffs before opening her mouth, laughing sharply. It’s not a happy sound.*
I should be happy. I should be fuckin’ ecstatic. Morgan’s back. They found him, and got him free. Alive, too. Pretty fucked up, but alive. Last I saw him, he was floating in kolto on the fleet, Katalin practically hugging the tank to be near him.
*She grimaces, running her hand through her hair*
Fuckin’ Ozakif had to start picking. And picking. And…
Fuck. I hate it. He’s right. That fuckin’ busted chronometer was right on time for once. The lieutenant pays more attention to me than he does the seventh. That ain’t good for anyone. And yeah, maybe I am just a dumb fuckin’ whore. I sure as shit was before I met Jerax. One or two nights and then just set them free.
*She swallows, voice cracking*
And so it shouldn’t have fucking mattered when Jerax said no. I shouldn’t have had to play it off like a joke. Like asking him to marry me was something I thought up on the fly to make him laugh on the way to that meeting. It should have just been a joke. Not real.
*She wipes her eyes quickly, scowling*
Dhen-zaka found me bawling my damn eyes out like a kid on the way to the Nar Shaddaa shuttle. I took it instead of my ship, since the girls are living in my cargo bay still. I don’t even have my damn ship any more. He’s such a sweetheart. Four months ago I would have fucked him just for fun, but now the idea of anyone else but Jerax in my bed makes my heart hurt. He calmed me down and set me on my way with a hug.
I’ll buy him some whiskey when I get back. Niatara doesn’t know what she’s missing out on if she lets him slip through her fingers.
*She sniffs and tilts her chin almost arrogantly*
So fuck it. Fuck all of it. I’m going off the grid for a few days. Seedy bars and bottomless whiskeys and dancing with the spiceheads like I used to do. Get my own head clear twenty levels down on Nar Shaddaa.
Find Vyen’a again. Be who I’m supposed to be again.
And I’ll come back and shit will be good.
Please, let it be better.
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