A reason to feel
The thin line of smoke curled against the bluish light of a datapad readout screen, tendrils illuminated against the darkness of the room. Vyen’a sat, legs tucked under, the cigarette dangling from her fingertips as she absently read the datapad, lost in thought.
Been a helluva year, ain’t it?
The woman smiled, lavender eyes glancing to the half-open doorway. A figure could be seen curled on its side, blankets wrapped around the masculine frame half-exposed by the empty spot on the bed where she’d been shortly before.
Yeah. A helluva year.
Memories tumbled around her as she tightened the blanket around her shoulders; that first chance meeting on Ord Mantell seeming absolutely innocuous until Jerax took off his helmet. Vyen’a had seen hundreds of faces in the years before that, taken plenty of the prettier ones to bed, but something in his eyes struck her down to her very core like no one else. It’s why she’d stuck around after getting him in bed, rather than sending him on his way. She wanted to know more.
Even with that jealous streak.
Vyen’a smirked slightly. They hadn’t been without their problems. The whatever it was with Dhen. The fights. The breakup and break. It was simple enough to fall back into old patterns while they were split. Tal was easy to fall into bed with; the twi’lek had the same drive, the same spirit between the sheets as she did. The fact that he’d seemed to be almost infatuated with her was fun, too.
Wonder where he got off to. Trouble, knowing him.
Her smile faded slightly.
And then there’s Ihlrath.
The smile dissolved into a scowl, slender fingers stubbing out the cigarette as she glanced at the necklace resting on her table. She’d stopped wearing it a few days after she was pulled out of the kolto tank, its slender gold chain replaced by the carefully wrought platinum one from Jerax. Vyen’a kicked herself for having fallen for Ihl’s words.
Of course he told you he loved you, dumbass. You were gonna stop sleeping with him.
It still didn’t take the prideful sting away. When he’d stopped talking to her, slowly at first, then just not responding at all. When Alasha grabbed him at the trials like she had a claim others didn’t.
Bet she thought I told her I’d look out for him for her. Bet she hasn’t a clue about me and him.
The few times after the trials when she’d tried to reach out to Ihl and got nothing didn’t sting as bad as the knowledge that she’d actually believed it. She’d known better; she had her boundaries that only one or two others had gotten past before.
And he never even thanked you for rewiring his ship, or the Hyperion. Eh, you’re a dumb slua, girl. Live and learn.
She lit another cigarette, burning ember glowing red hot against the dark of the room, and glanced over her shoulder toward Jerax’s sleeping form again. He was the one that mattered the most. The trick was to get him to understand it.
The good lieutenant doesn’t need to know about what happened. Any of it. All he needs to know is that whatever happens, whoever shows up, I’ll always come back to him. I’ll always be his girl first.
She’d kept people at arm’s length for so long; Jerax had finally given her a reason - and the want - to open up and truly feel. Vyen’a glanced back down at the datapad on her lap, the small smile creeping back across her face at the display of elegantly wrought, delicate yet somehow still masculine rings listed.
Always his girl first.
