Yesterday started absolutely fuckoff horrible. I drank way too much the night before - so much that Dhen had to carry me back to my ship from the Cantina. That wasn’t awkward at all, really; especially not when I tried to take off my shirt so I wouldn’t puke down my front, got tangled and stuck, and he had to help untangle me. Woke up the next morning with a hangover for the ages.
Knew I should have stopped at eight Scruffy Nerfherders. I lost count after eleven. Not my finest moment, really.
Had a long visit with Rinn. She’s going to help me track down that fuck Rodo, but at a price: I’ll be doing some shipping for her at some point in the future. Whatever, not a big deal; she knows my terms and what I will and will not allow on my ship, so I’m more than happy to take that offer. Rodo is such a dead man.
Thought about calling Nia to see if she wanted to go shopping with me on Coruscant. Thought about calling Dhen to see if he wanted to grab some lunch. Tried to call Jerax, and of course he didn’t answer. Then Red— er. Ty’nea and I got in a little bitch fight because, well, she’s a whiny little bitch. Sweet, but a whiny little bitch.
I said fuck it and left. Went to Coruscant to spend credits on frivolous shit; took the shuttle so I wouldn’t have to bother with fucking about and finding a landing dock. Couldn’t even find anything to buy there, either.
Get back to find my ship open and all the lights off. Normally, this would have me calling the big guns - Jerax, Dhen, Jayl-Brookes-Whatever the fuck her name is now - but I was just fuckin’ sick of the day enough already. Drew my blaster and was ready to shoot an asshole. Wouldn’t have even been half-surprised if it was that little shit that robbed me on Nar Shaddaa again.
It was… not.
It was a hundred thousand times better.
There was food. Real, home-cooked food, not the reheated crap I was planning on eating. And everything was lovely and pale-lamp lit. And standing there in his officer uniform was Jerax.
He didn’t answer his comm earlier because he was getting everything he needed for the meal. He spent all day cooking and getting the ship ready for when I got back. Makes me glad I didn’t take it to Coruscant. He wanted to do something for me to show he loved me, he wanted to thank me, he wanted to be with me instead of just running past me and grabbing a peck on the lips or a fast drink in the cantina or a quick fuck before falling into an exhausted sleep for four hours - if that - before getting up and heading back to whatever command has him doing.
And I know now why he said no. It wasn’t a “no, never, fuck off, green bitch” sort of thing, and even though I was pretty sure that wasn’t the case anyway, it put my mind at ease to find out for certain. It was a “not now” thing. He said he wants to be with me forever, and when this whole whatever-is-coming (because something is definitely coming, you can feel it in the air) is over…
I told him I wouldn’t ask again. He’ll know when it’s right. It’ll always be right for me.
Needless to say, the food got cold long before we finished the meal. When I woke up this morning, it was curled next to him. And even now, with off and doing whatever command has him running around doing?
I can still feel him in my arms.
Things might actually finally be looking up.